Dear Brain,

Please perk up. Seriously you are ruining my mood, and I'm not the only one noticing. Unfortunately each person that has noticed it has blamed it on something different- ie. school stress, lack of sleep, pms (yeah thanks Derek love you too). The truth is, I'm just in a funk. I feel like, while it is sporatic and not on a set schedule, I am getting enough sleep. This semester honestly feels like a breeze compared to last year in general, even though I honestly don't think I have exaclty ever struggled with school other than pure laziness or lack of organization. I'm not pmsing- end of story.

Then why do I feel like this? It's hard to explain what exactly this is, but I know I've felt it before. It's kind of a bit of melancholy. I'm usually a pretty chipper and hyper girl, reguilarly accussed of having ADHD. Lately though, everything seems to be coming to an end. I don't know where I got this thought from but this year I realized I only have a year and one semester left at school. Then I'll have to go into the real world, find a real job, have real life resposinilities and bills. I'm not that big of a fan of that. Luckily though, end of school means I'll be all wifed up and actually get to see Derek every single day for the rest of my life (minus my yearly girls weekends that I refuse to not have). With that means moving away from everybody I love. There are times I really struggle with being a mere four hours away from family and friends back home, but can usually fight that off a night out with my friends at school. Worst case scenario I find a weekend off and drive my happy butt north. That won't happen very often living in North Carolina. From the two times I have had to buy plane tickets this year, I know that twice a year will very likely be tapping me out on my trip money, and that's pushing it.

On top of that, I have been feeling very much on the end of my string. I feel like I could snap at any time on anyone. I just get so irritated lately, and I hate it! Like why? My roommate might have actually been legitamitely concerned that something was wrong when she asked if everything was ok, so why did I have to use some serious self-control to not lash out at her? While it is annoying and a hassle, why do I just want to kick residents that forget their IDs out of the building and tell them to not bother coming back until I'm gone? I even get irritated at people who I have no contact with- yeah that girl that wore some super short shorts today with some extremely bright colored leggings and construction boots (not sure what they are really called, but that's the only kind of people I know who wear that kind of boots), there is just something about the way your clothes hit my eyes that just want me to tell you to go home and change because she was obviously drunk when she got ready this morning. SIDENOTE: I usually actually applause people who wear things that (in my opinion) are absolutely crazy for the simple fact that I could no way pull it off.

Honestly, the last time I felt like this I fell into a semester long fit of depression. That's another post for another day, and might not ever show up until I get real open with you guys or enough people personally request it. I don't want to go back to that person. However in May I was also diagnosed with anxiety and was prescribed Zoloft, which I have ran out of. The Zoloft was actually for my anxiety, my depression, and my eating disorder (once again another post for another time). Maybe that's why I've been so off. I shoudl probably call about getting my prescription re-filled. Hopefully that will help.

In the meantime I would really appreciate some good thoughts ladies. I just hope this ends soon so I can go back to not depressing everyone everytime I post.

Xo
-M

Jobs That Are Actually Worse Than Mine

So while were sitting here just chillaxin at our extremely difficult job of swiping in college kid after college kid, Reanna decided we didn't have much of a reason to bitch about our jobs. I mean there are people out there with much worse jobs than us. Here are our top 5 in no particular order:

FIVE- Being the 6th Floor RA:  So first off, an RA is a student who lives on a floor in one of the many dorm buildings who helps the student's on that floor with pretty much every single little stupid question they have. My bestie was an RAs last year  and let me tell you it was a living hell! Well lucky for this years 6th Floor RA they have got some incredibly classy residents. Two not one but TWO times somebody has decided to drop one in the hallway. By one I mean that rancid smelling, semi-solid, brown/green I don't even want to know what color stuff. I honestly can't even force myself to say the word. So for anybody who hates their job, I'm sure that I know a couple of RA's who would be more than happy to switch you.

FOUR- Person Who Scrapes Gum Off of Sidewalks: Supposedly this is a real job? Just think about having to spend your days phsyically getting off all of the gum that nasty people spit on the ground just to get trampled over by feet that have been God-knows-where. The mixture of saliva, ooey-gooey-ness, and potential life threatening diseases that are inevitably mixed in with the gum makes it something that I try to avoid while just walking. Add that onto the potential for the bottoms of shoes that may or may not have stepped in dog poo, vomit, and other unmentionables places this job very firmly on my I would rather be homeless list.

THREE- Prostitute: Now don't get me wrong, I have no problems with sex and definitely no problem with making a lot of moolah. However, I really like the idea of being able to stick with Derek for that kind of pleasure. Besides, let's be real, if you had to have sex that much it would probably just be completely oblivious to the world down there. Then there is the obvious reasons of being highly illegal, not having a choice on who you get nasty with, potential for STD's, and the horrible reputation these girls have? Yeah not even an option in my book.

  

^^^ I rest my case ^^^

TWO- Sewage Worker: Not sure why I keep going back to the topic of poo today, but I sure do hope these fellas get pade hella good money for playing in those nasty waters all day. I'm not even entirely sure what the job description of a sewage worker is, but I can just picture wading around waste deep in other people's used toilet water, dirty shower water, and nasty dish water. Not exactly a job I think I have the stomach for. Nope, nuh uh, no way. Point me towards the local soup kitchen.

ONE-  Armpit Sniffer: So I don't even know if this is a legit job, but when you Google "horrible jobs" people smelling armpits in what looks like lab coats pop up. I mean it makes sense, deodorant brands need to know that their products work and how else to know that than by having somebody put the good ol' DO on, then go run a few miles or what-not, and then have somebody completely unrelated come stick their sniffers all up in that. I already have a hard enough time with BO when it is the unbathed hippie sitting three rows in front of me in Anthropology class. Not very into the idea of having to spend 40 hours a week in extremely close proximity to that kind of grossness.

 

Well I'm thinking that just about wraps up our randomness for today. No idea what's going to end up coming out of my fingertips next Tuesday when we work together.

Peace Out Girl Scout!! ^.^

 

EDIT: Just found out that there are people who legit jack off dogs for breeders! Like WHAT?!?!?! Not even going there. Now we know where at least a percentage of all of those cute interwebs puppies come from. I feel like a part of my soul just got ripped out.

INSANITY

Why am I such a Debbie Downer lately? Well I promise today will be different! Why might you ask? Cause I started this craziness >>>>>>

Yeah that little move they are doing right there? No frikkin joke! Even though I'm still dieing of this crude that I still haven't been able to get rid of, I jumped right in. Now the amount of nastiness I coughed up and sweat that literally dripped off of my body was INSANE (see what I did there hehe). Nonetheless, I fell asleep passed out immediately after and woke up surprisingly refreshed (at 2:00am). I had gotten this nice little present last week from a very nice Marine that I am thinking is just trying to find a way out of buying a ring- my death would most definitely let him off the hook. I got through the fitness day and all the way to Day 2 before my immune system decided it was just going to give up on me. Sooooo I had this bright idea that today I am going to do Day 4 and Day 5 so that I can catch up with my roommates who left me hanging and kept on keeping on with it. No complaints gotta whoop my butt into shape if I'm going to shock and awe Derek when I see him just 1 MONTH AND 7 DAYS!!!! Sorry for the over-excexcitement, I mean it's only been since what June 16th that I saw him last- not that I'm keeping track or anything.

So yeah, anybody else do Insanity? Should I be crazy enough to post up a before/after/progress pictures? Not sure how I feel about my beautiful self looking all before/after-like (well the after part wouldn't be so bad if I really do end up with an after like they show on TV now would it?).

Anywhodiddles. That is all for now. 

Peace out girl scout!!    


PS- Even though I'm slightly weirded out by the whole vampirestat.com thingy (da fuq is that???) I am such a dork and it makes me smile that, even though I'm sure they are so incredibly minimal compared to just about anybody else in the interwebs world, my 53 pageviews today makes me smile like a giddy school girl ^.^

Bad Luck

Sorry for the hiatus ya'll, but I have honestly had the worst week I can remember in quite some time. I thought bad luck came in threes?

Anyways it didn't start out too bad, got a very nice hangover and cold when I woke up from a pretty awesome day of tailgating and bar hopping with some friends I did get to sleep in and I did do pretty decent in tips at work- then came Monday.

Monday- Got to work the always lovely graveyard shift at the desk and then rushed to my 8:00am class. By 8:20am I realized that class was cancelled for that day   screeeeeeeeew. Had an exam in the next class and kicked its ass when grades were posted I only got a C   double screw. Then you know since it was still quite toasty frikkin living in Hell's hot tub I just so managed to get overheated and got sick in my last class of the day. Oh well ya know bad things come in threes right? Just go to sleep and tomorrow will be a new day.

Tuesday- went to sit in on a class, the teacher had no idea what I was talking about, got a nice little $75 parking ticket, stumbled horribly through my speech for class. Car started messing up and acting all funky, so I called mom and she agreed to drive the four hours south to trade me vehicles so poor old Martha could get checked out. Could have been worse. I mean I didn't puke or anything even though it was just as hot. Besides, all day I had this nice little soreness meaning that Insanity was in fact kicking my ass as badly as I had thought. I can still see the bright side.

Wednesday- Slept like shit (mayyyyybe 2 or less hours total), woke up late for class, best friend didn't wake up at all so I woke her up 10 minutes before we usually left (not like her at all not to wake up so I just figured she was catching up on homework in her room), she was pissed and bitched (SIDE NOTE: word only used to describe how bad of a mood I was in already for the day) about the whole to class. Whatever I can handle that just a bad morning. Knocked myself down to roughly $20 on in my bank account after booking my hotel room for IBA-U Conference at ISU (just wait until you hear my bad luck from that one!). Absolutely hated the project I turned in for my RT class- stupid concept, didn't like my shots, not enough variety, some weak shots (focus, white balance, lighting wise), and the music ended to abruptly (even though I checked a million and one times to make sure it didn't do that). This little sore throat suddenly turns into a full out coughing fit with a migraine to match. In just a few short hours it has escalated so badly that I have to miss PRSSA which also meant that I didn't get to help out with the poster. Managed to post on our FB page though, but in my sicken sleepiness not even sure if I did it right. Fell asleep, missed dinner, and woke up at midnight feeling about 10x worse than what I had thought was being absolutely miserable. Ran out to the store to grab some medication to hopefully help? "Oh hi, trying to get out of the car? Let's just make sure the handle on the inside completely falls the fuck off!!" Perfect way to spend my 3:00am. Hell at least the meds knocked me on my ass.

Thursday- While incredibly grateful to be able to actually sleep thanks to the God sent that is Nyquil, I also didn't wake up until call number 5 from my mom saying that they were waiting outside my apartment building. Ran down no bra, no shoes, and the shortest pajama shorts I could imagine (let's just say one friend is still convinced they are boy short underwear). Low and behold run into everyone I frikkin know plus their mom, roommate, boss, teacher, and fish!! Not to mention I forgot that my mom was bringing her boo-thang with her to make sure Martha made it back alright. I did manage to get some free lunch from Fat Patty's though (finally one point for Molly!), and got ripped off on my usual order of corn nuggets (most delicious orgasm of the mouth ever). Bubble Tea kept giving me a brain freeze and my mother didn't like it! She thought the little ball things that are in it looked like over-sized rabbit poop and tasted like old slimy drunken gummy bears. The abomination that came from my mother's mouth there is no way we could have been related! At least until she got a kick from slurping them through the ginormous straws regardless of not being a fan. Belly full and still quite up there with the medicine I'm more than ready for a nap, but ohhhhhhh no I have to go to class. Sat there for 5 minutes with just one other person and no teacher. What am I possibly thinking? Oh ya, I can go get a nap before I have to make this four hour drive north! Packing up to leave and all of a sudden everyone decides to show up   effffff. Oh well it was a pretty relaxed day because teach was suck with the same crude I have (but she's also had it for roughly 3 weeks... pleeeeeaaaaaseeee don't last that long). Con my roommate into grabbing me a bottle of wine for when I get back to my hotel and load up my bag and leave- after downing a 80oz of Redbull and buying some coffee for the trip. 5 1/2 hours later (yes I had early said it was only supposed to be a barely four hour trip), a million and one potty breaks, re-fill at some ghetto ass gas station where some guy asked me if I had any weed I wanted to sell him (da fuq), and almost getting railed by an over-sized load of a semi truck, I made it back ready to just relax with some good tv and a bottle of wine and head to bed early. Ohh-oh-oh-ohhhh was I mistaken. My hotel had me checking in for FRIDAY! On top of that since it was less than 24 hours in advance I was still getting charged the full amount for that room even though I wouldn't be staying. Fine, whatever, just give me a room so I can go play dehydration with my bottle of wine. Well, let's just say thank god for the little bit of cash I had on my and the un-cashed paycheck from Lonestar still in my backpack because my card was decline (most likely due to the fact that they had already charged me for the night I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE STAYING!!). So off to find a Walmart I went. Thank God the guy at Walmart went ahead and cashed my check for me, and after two hours I was able to get myself a room. (SIDE NOTE: The guy at the hotel was very nice and did work with me a lot with a fee for the room which definitely helped me out a LOT!). So dropped off my stuff poured myself a hefty glass of wine and proceeded to empty the bottle. Hunger set in and I used the last of my paycheck to order some Domino's (which I have to say was a pretty nifty experience since we only have Papa John's and local pizza places here in Carbondale).  So I ate and it was delicious, but when bedtime came I swear that my room was haunted. I hear what sounded like scuffling on the carpeting all night and tapping on the bathroom sink. Horrible sleeping experience, and had to wake up at 5:00am.

Friday- Well woke up later than I wanted to but I still had time to get all nice looking and what not. Loaded up my car and my professor offered to save me money and gas by letting me ride to ISU with them in the school van. Finally my luck was turning around. Until this one girl came down and I swear she does not stop talking for the entire hour that I was sitting next to her- even if you stop responding to her she just keeps "bla bla bla bla bla bla bla". Could have smacked her! Then came a morning full of panels, which wasn't actually all that bad at all. Lunch came though and I had been stuck with girl from a few sentences back and I had to take a break and go outside to call my mom before I snapped on somebody. Turns out my car had overheated on my mom while she was driving to work- aweeesomeee. At least it got fixed pretty quickly thanks to my uncles. Went back in and there was like nooooooo food left. I was able to grab a small sandwich with some pepperjack cheese and a small salad. At least I got a Coke to drink with it all. After a short presentation we were back on the road to head back to Carbondale. Not too bad other than the fact that one of the guys asked to ride with me and I said yes. He was actually a pretty good travel partner other than the fact that I was having some major small car problems with him. Mom's car is a little red Ford Focus and this guy took up the entire front seat. Usually not a problem if it wasn't for the fact that driving already makes me really anxious and claustrophobic. Lots and lots of construction during the entire trip. Finally made it home though, and I guess that's where the majority of my bad luck ended, even though I've still had my fair share the past two days as well.

Yeaaaaaahhhhh for being a Debby Downer!!

I'll cheer up soon I promise.

New Hair?

So I've been thinking that I am much overdo for a new hairdo. Derek seems to agree- though I think it's more of a "I'm tired of listening to you complain about your hair so you should go change it" kind of thing. Decided to change up my hairstyle is never to much of an issue, but decided what I want to do is whole nother story. So let's do a vote, or just get some opinions, huh?

I think I'm pretty set on this being my haircut

Now for hair color I guess I should include a couple pictures of me so you can decide what you think would look best haha

Anyways... sooooooo that's my face haha. Here are my bazillion options cut down to my favorites. 

Sorry if that is a little bit of an overload but I just can't decide!!! Help me pweeeez :)

Have a great Tuesday-but-feels-like-Monday :)

Grrrrrrrrrr...

In honor of this awesome Monday that everybody else in the wonderful country gets off... excluding me... at both of my jobs. Here are some awesome Monday pins.

Just gotta try to remember this last one. 

Have a great Monday ya'll!

Just Some Early Morning Word Vomit

Hey ya'll!

So the past few days have been sooooo hectic and tiring exhausting! Friday I somehow managed to clock in 10 hours at my desk assistant job on top of going to all of my classes! To finish off the day Christine and I attempted to make some Salmon for a girls night (that I had to leave early because of work at 3:00am). It actually wasn't too bad after we decided to slice off the scaley part to be able to cook it all the way through. We paired it with this ungodly good lime butter (literally just a stick of butter and 4-5 tablespoons of lime juice) and some asparagus. Of course we had a few adult beverages with it as well.

Then off to work I went. Desk from 3:00am-6:00am and then Lonestar at 11:30am. Not too bad, but my last table oh my geezeballs! This lady was so rude, and even left a note saying that we had made her dining experience "uncomfortable"? Um ma'am, I think the fact that you refused to let your drink get below 3/4 of the way full, complained about how your side salad wasn't big enough (or that there wasn't any bacon or cucumbers with it), and then got snippy when I refused an expired coupon made it very uncomfortable for me. Ugh! Sometimes I don't know how I have survived being a waitress for 4 years. Desk is, as always since I pretty much only work shifts between 12:00am and 6:00am, was full of some very entertaining drunk college students. But as the picture above states, I feel like I do absolutely nada during my three hours of boredom behind this awesome desk.

Not sure if I ever described what i do at my desk job, but pretty much I'm just a "security feature" (if you ask any university official) that ensures that there are no randoms in the building (it's a dorm). When somebody comes into the building they have to swipe their student ID, and it will say "oh hey welcome home" or "da fuq you don't live here". If the second happens, they have to have one of our lovely residents sign them in (but only two guest max). 3 hour shifts at $8.25 an hour working roughly 15-20 hours a week, seems pretty easy peasy. Bright side, you can usually con some pizza off most of the residents.

By the end of today I'm pretty sure I will be the wicked witch from the South! I already worked 12:00am-3:00am, doing my 6:00-9:00am shift at desk now. I get a teeny tiny break before having to report for duty at Lonestar at 12:15pm and then again at 4:30pm. And Holy Moses be back at desk Monday for a 3:00am-6:00am and then Lonestar at 5:15pm!! Let's just say I must have earned some massive karma points because if I had to do my regular Monday class schedule of 8:00am-3:00pm, I would surely croak! Thank you Labor Day!!!!!

Buuuuuuut, I think I'm going to go back to doing zip zilch and nada, or read some more of the lovely blogs that I like to read on the daily.

Peace Out Girl Scouts :)

Sidenote: Anyone out there have any idea how to make my background magig as pretty and awesome looking as like 9.9/10 of all the blogs I read? I'm clueless with this stuff. Spanks in advance :)