So while were sitting here just chillaxin at our extremely difficult job of swiping in college kid after college kid, Reanna decided we didn't have much of a reason to bitch about our jobs. I mean there are people out there with much worse jobs than us. Here are our top 5 in no particular order:
FIVE- Being the 6th Floor RA: So first off, an RA is a student who lives on a floor in one of the many dorm buildings who helps the student's on that floor with pretty much every single little stupid question they have. My bestie was an RAs last year and let me tell you it was a living hell! Well lucky for this years 6th Floor RA they have got some incredibly classy residents. Two not one but TWO times somebody has decided to drop one in the hallway. By one I mean that rancid smelling, semi-solid,brown/green I don't even want to know what color stuff. I honestly can't even force myself to say the word. So for anybody who hates their job, I'm sure that I know a couple of RA's who would be more than happy to switch you.
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FOUR- Person Who Scrapes Gum Off of Sidewalks: Supposedly this is a real job? Just think about having to spend your days phsyically getting off all of the gum that nasty people spit on the ground just to get trampled over by feet that have been God-knows-where. The mixture of saliva, ooey-gooey-ness, and potential life threatening diseases that are inevitably mixed in with the gum makes it something that I try to avoid while just walking. Add that onto the potential for the bottoms of shoes that may or may not have stepped in dog poo, vomit, and other unmentionables places this job very firmly on my I would rather be homeless list.
THREE- Prostitute: Now don't get me wrong, I have no problems with sex and definitely no problem with making a lot of moolah. However, I really like the idea of being able to stick with Derek for that kind of pleasure. Besides, let's be real, if you had to have sex that much it would probably just be completely oblivious to the world down there. Then there is the obvious reasons of being highly illegal, not having a choice on who you get nasty with, potential for STD's, and the horrible reputation these girls have? Yeah not even an option in my book.
FIVE- Being the 6th Floor RA: So first off, an RA is a student who lives on a floor in one of the many dorm buildings who helps the student's on that floor with pretty much every single little stupid question they have. My bestie was an RAs last year and let me tell you it was a living hell! Well lucky for this years 6th Floor RA they have got some incredibly classy residents. Two not one but TWO times somebody has decided to drop one in the hallway. By one I mean that rancid smelling, semi-solid,
FOUR- Person Who Scrapes Gum Off of Sidewalks: Supposedly this is a real job? Just think about having to spend your days phsyically getting off all of the gum that nasty people spit on the ground just to get trampled over by feet that have been God-knows-where. The mixture of saliva, ooey-gooey-ness, and potential life threatening diseases that are inevitably mixed in with the gum makes it something that I try to avoid while just walking. Add that onto the potential for the bottoms of shoes that may or may not have stepped in dog poo, vomit, and other unmentionables places this job very firmly on my I would rather be homeless list.
THREE- Prostitute: Now don't get me wrong, I have no problems with sex and definitely no problem with making a lot of moolah. However, I really like the idea of being able to stick with Derek for that kind of pleasure. Besides, let's be real, if you had to have sex that much it would probably just be completely oblivious to the world down there. Then there is the obvious reasons of being highly illegal, not having a choice on who you get nasty with, potential for STD's, and the horrible reputation these girls have? Yeah not even an option in my book.
^^^ I rest my case ^^^
TWO- Sewage Worker: Not sure why I keep going back to the topic of poo today, but I sure do hope these fellas get pade hella good money for playing in those nasty waters all day. I'm not even entirely sure what the job description of a sewage worker is, but I can just picture wading around waste deep in other people's used toilet water, dirty shower water, and nasty dish water. Not exactly a job I think I have the stomach for. Nope, nuh uh, no way. Point me towards the local soup kitchen.
ONE- Armpit Sniffer: So I don't even know if this is a legit job, but when you Google "horrible jobs" people smelling armpits in what looks like lab coats pop up. I mean it makes sense, deodorant brands need to know that their products work and how else to know that than by having somebody put the good ol' DO on, then go run a few miles or what-not, and then have somebody completely unrelated come stick their sniffers all up in that. I already have a hard enough time with BO when it is the unbathed hippie sitting three rows in front of me in Anthropology class. Not very into the idea of having to spend 40 hours a week in extremely close proximity to that kind of grossness.
Well I'm thinking that just about wraps up our randomness for today. No idea what's going to end up coming out of my fingertips next Tuesday when we work together.
Peace Out Girl Scout!! ^.^
EDIT: Just found out that there are people who legit jack off dogs for breeders! Like WHAT?!?!?! Not even going there. Now we know where at least a percentage of all of those cute interwebs puppies come from. I feel like a part of my soul just got ripped out.
I know half of these were so gross I didn't even think about them. Reanna was the one who helped me pick them out! haha
ReplyDeletebahahah i don't even want to know how you sign up to do that to a dog. too funny
ReplyDeleteI have no idea, but I hope I never have to find out!
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